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Variety reports that John Woo has signed on to direct and produce a live-action adaptation of the He-Man cartoon. We don't want to ignite another Ang Lee controversy, but perhaps Woo's choice to take a shot at He-Man might be charitably attributed to a language barrier? Or maybe Fox pulled a bait-and-switch on Woo, dangling a prestige property from the 80's cartoon pantheon, like The Snorks, My Little Pony, or Monchichi, and then saddling him with a franchise that's already been tainted by Dolph Lundgren.

On the bright side, Woo will have the opportunity to correct one of Hollywood's most egregious casting mistakes, and finally give California First Lady Maria Shriver a long-deserved shot at playing Skeletor. She can Pay-Pal ten percent of her check to tips@defamer.com once the contract is signed.