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· Lindsay Lohan's dad, Michael, teeters on the border of batshit insane. Mom Dina has taken out an order of protection against him while Lindsay tries to focus on her work with cinematic masterpiece Herbie the Love Bug. [Page Six]
· Elton John accuses Madonna of lip-syncing and then gets in a huff of her ticket prices. Queen catfight at the bike racks! [NYDN]
· Supermodel Carmen Kass breaks up with Butter co-owner Richie Akiva; the world sheds a skinny, overpriced tear. [Page Six]
· Jayson Blair subscribes to the weekend New York Times. Does he think $3 a week is going heal all wounds? Actually, it might. [NYDN]
· Parker Posey's dog gets diarrhea on the plane. We had to mention this, sorry. [Page Six]