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The celebrity-marketing apocalypse has reached a frenzied level of shittiness, as this week marks the launch of Jessica Simpson's lickable body fragrances. Oh, and they're low-calorie, thank God! We wouldn't want our obsessive self-licking to get interfere with our South Beach diet, now would we? AdRants notes:

We wonder if the streets of New York will now be filled with wafting, mouth-watering food scents driving people to helplessly lick strangers as they pass each other by. Perhaps Simpson should donate her product to the homeless. They need it more than those of who have homes and spend our money on stuff like this.

Um, we totally disagree. Why would we share our low-cal treats with the homeless? Let them lick fatty things, like used Happy Meal containers.
Jessica Simpson Debuts Edible Body Fragrance [AdRants]
Jessica Simpson's Lickable Fragrances Won't Get In The Way Of A Perky Butt [MTV]
Tasting Jessica Simpson [Fleshbot]