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In today's episode: Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhall "far from making out" at Fenix, with Nicole Richie; College dropout Mary-Kate Olsen at Urth; David Spade not washing his hands after using La Piazza's bathroom; Steve Buscemi at UCLA, Chris Klein, Jake Gyllenhaal, Haley Joel Osment, Courtney Love, Danny Bonaduce, and Jeri Ryan at R.E.M., Jason Alexander, Janel Moloney, Heidi Fless (with bonus cam-phone pic!), Anthony Kiedis, and a special D-list, multiple-reality-show contestant sighting.

· I just read that Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal were making out on Wednesday night. They must of made up cuz when I was at the Fenix on Monday, night chillin on some wine and riding my weed high, they were far from making out. I was lounging when for some reason, I happened to look to my right, and I recognized the bothered looking guy that rushed right by. It was Jake Gyllenhaal. He's hot. She's dumb. He was holding his jacket in his hand and he looked really pissed off. I look toward the direction he was just coming from- the dance floor. There was Dunst - drunk and stumbling, hanging out with that slut [Ed. note: Whew! Play Nice!]Nicole Richie. There were some dudes trying to dance with them jokingly but I can't tell if it was Rick Salomon or not. Anyway- I felt bad for Jake, he looked really upset. And she was drunk like you get when you're tying to forget. And she was sweaty too.

· Saw the impossibly tiny Mary Kate Olsen breeze into Urth Cafe for some late-ish night coffee and a snack. I'm not trying to be funny, but I couldn't really gawk at her because my view was obstructed by a thin pole.

· David Spade on Sunday night in the overcrowded bathroom of La Piazza @ The Grove. He didn't wash his hands...

· I sat next to Steve Buscemi at UCLA's screening of Visconti's Obsessione (sat. nite). He made made appreciative noises at all the right places.

· This last sat I was at Il Guapo on melrose, watching the Yankee's beat the Red Sox's into an oblivion, when Chris Klein walks in. The guy was sitting with a bunch of Red Sox's fans with a neutral hat pulled over his face. We were waiting to see if Katie Holmes would be joining him but she never showed (trouble there?). Across the restaurant was a large but not obese John Lovitz. Surprising how non obese he is.

· So, in the hospitality section at the Greek for REM last week:

1. Jake Gyllenhaal, looking dapper and preppy and all around hot,
though the men I was with refused to admit it and kept saying "I don't get what makes him so hot." Honestly.

2. Haley Joel Osment, the midget. Wait, make that the mulletted (mulleted?) midget. He looked unhappy, like the only thing that would make his life worse is if someone walked over to him and said "I see dead people." Which we didn't, but would have been fun.

3. Courtney Love, dressed all in black with a young man on her arm hanging onto her every word. Disappointingly, no tantrums or microphone incidents ensued. She was just drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and acting like a normal person.

· went to the R.E.M. concert at the Greek the other day and amidst the balding, bespectacled 30-somethings desperately trying to relive their college days, I did manage to see a few celebrities. Namely Danny Bonaduce and Jeri Ryan. Not very exciting, eh? You'd think R.E.M. could get at least pull in a few A-listers. Maybe all the good celebs were at The Fulfillment Fund Dinner at the Beverly Hilton.

· saw jason alexander (not the britney fucker) at the starbucks on olympic and doheny monday morning. he ordered a pumpkin latte and pumpkin loaf. the man likes his pumpkin.

· This Sunday saw Janel Moloney (West Wing) walking her dog in the hills of Studio City. To be fair, she was just walking her dog, not out trying to be seen.

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· Just saw heidi fleiss at the car wash on la cienega near melrose. She looks rough(as a hooker should) and really skinny. She was wobbling around on her phone. Sorry for the sucky shots.

· i saw anthony kiedis at real food daily on beverly drive on thursday. he was dining al fresco with some young looking, strategically mismatched hipster girl with 'dark-ass brown' hair.

· I was hiking Runyon Canyon the other evening with my dog when I spotted Toni Ferrari, you may remember her from such reality television shows as 'Love Cruise' and 'Paradise Hotel.' She was walking with a girl who appeared half her age and about half her size. When I passed the pair, I overheard her saying, "...well don't worry, you can raid my closet..." It didn't really seem all that logical to me, though I have to say, she looks better in person than she did on TV, she didn't look like some huge beast, she looked fit and proportional.