Short Ends: Porn Stars Explain O'Reilly
—Porn stars hold forth on the Bill O'Reilly fiasco, but somehow manage not to involve falafel in the discussion. Maybe that's what he saw in the back room of the Thai sex show.
—Kabbalah update: Demi Moore to throw a book party in London; Madonna readies the launch of her next thinly-veiled Kabbalah propaganda children's story, about a boy named Ted String who raises money through overpriced self-help classes to save the world from a giant, bloodshot, evil eyeball.
—"A limo arrived and Sam waved his dirty cowboy hat from the sunroof. Part of me wished I could leave Mali-Cali myself, but I have promises to keep, as Robert Frost wisely wrote." We really don't know if Nick Nolte's Diary is legit or not, but with sentences like these, we find ourselves not really caring.
—Even the AP wants to put a thumb in the eye of the post-Friends Jeff Zucker and his formerly Must See TV lineup. OK, they don't mention him by name, but we know oblique shots at tarnishing golden boys when we seem them.