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Film Stew's Andy Jones returns to his "See Where Andy Goes" column after a craving for Pioneer Chicken goes terribly awry. (We think that God was just trying to save him from the far worse damage that eating there surely would have caused.) He spots Scientology's First Couple in the midst of some oddly conspicuous PDA at the Hollywood Film Festival:

After the temporary blindness of the flashbulbs receded, John Travolta and Eulogy's Kelly Preston (in a gently ruffled pink Chanel gown) appeared looking voraciously heterosexual. Is he really holding her ass, I thought?

There's no better way to upgrade reports of your heterosexuality to "voracious" than by fondling your beautiful actress wife on the red carpet. Of course, it helps that the wife in question keeps herself in shape and still has the ass of an 17-year-old boy.