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"Old and decrepit" Los Angeles resident Adam Levine learns that fans of the teeny-bopper lust object/Maroon 5 singer that shares his name don't know that celebrities generally aren't listed in the phone book. The "wrong" Levine is sharing his frustration with the world by posting the misdirected fan phone messages on his website, most of which devolve into cries of Tiger Beat generational disbelief or sexual overtures. Some of our favorites:

· "I want you to penetrate me."

·"Oh My God Oh My God!"

·I'm a stalker, Oh My God!

We suppose things could have been worse for Mr. Levine, like if he'd been the only "C. Aiken" listed in the phonebook.