This just in! Celebrities are still (not) eating at Soho's nouveau institution, Balthazar, and multiplying within its venerable walls:

At first, I thought it would be a regular, if not minor, gawker stalking. Boy was I wrong. I went to Balthazar on Sunday night for dinner and was kind of embarassed to see the more-manly-than-me Milla Jovivich sit down for dinner with an older guy and a cute Latino type. I wasn't that impressed until the very fierce, very gay design duo of Proenza Schouler arrived.

But wait, there's more. Isn't there always? Requisite potty humor after the jump.

So I conceded that it was a pretty cute little crew, but then, like a zit that turns into a boil, the group grew—apparently, Milla's boyfriend is now Sean Lennon, who showed up squeeking in his high shrilly voice and awkward giggles. Then as the tentacle of B-level celebrity spread, they brought the adjoining table's dinner so they could make room for two more guests—Sean's mother Yoko Ono (all in black, and is losing height rapidly) and what looked like her body guard sat down. As they all went for cigarettes it came to my attention that it wasn't the whiter boy from Proenza, but some boy who I uncovered via listening to their conversations works at Vogue that looks like him (which I was pleased to discover, as the white boy from Proenza, I hear, is a two-timing arrogant prick)—which explains why he was all over the other latino at the table. Yoko had nothing to eat but 11 cups of coffee and abrubtly sprinted to her awaiting Bentley. And then, just before the rest of the confusing masse left, the older guy gurgled (or did he have a lisp?) something about a bad oyster and sprinted to the toilet. I mean, it wasn't that fun to watch, but it was hella better than Resident Evil.