In this week's edition of our New York Times Book Review coverage, Intern Alexis subjects herself to Jonathan Franzen's brown-nosing and learns about the stunning art of book jacket photographs. When she's not refusing to acknowledge the annoying children's books section, Alexis is feverishly analyzing the letters to the editor for insight into the minds of people who actually, um, read. Pity her and love her, because she does it all for you.

Runaway
 By Alice Munro
Reviewed by Jonathan Franzen
The problem with getting famous writers to review books is that famous writers are cocky bastards and stubborn as shit when it comes to being edited. Case in point: Jonathan Franzen and his review of Alice Munro s new collection of short stories, Runaway. Get this guy some Kaopectate, because he has a serious case of verbal diarrhea! While we agree with him that Alice Munro is a genius and it s clever to structure the review around a list of explanations as to why Munro is not wildly popular outside of Canada, sometimes Franzen lets his excitement run away with him, and his thoughts flow out hither and thither. All he needs here is a little editing, someone to say, Don t you think it s a little retarded to contrast Alice Munro to Bill Clinton, hmmm? But we imagine Franzen would have none of that and wouldn t let the Times editors touch his brilliant prose.

What we appreciate about Franzen, though, is how he is able to break free from the traditional chains which for so many years have held book reviewers captive. Pushing that envelope real hard, he writes, since I m not interested in reviewing her new book s marketing campaign or in being entertainingly snarky at her expense I m probably better off just serving up a nice quote for Alfred A. Knopf to pull Munro has a strong claim to being the best fiction writer in North America. Runaway is a marvel. Hmm, this sounds familiar. Can these be the opening lines to the review? Oh, yes they are. Meta altert! Meta alert! He then suggests that the Book Review s editors run the biggest possible photograph of Munro in the most prominent of places And (ohhhhh shit) get this folks, right above these lines is a BIG PHOTOGRAPH OF ALICE MUNRO!! Look at the Times playing along with Franzen! How sweet. Pass the Kaopectate.

Essay: The Age of Ettlinger
 Reviewed by Lee Siegel
A big fat fuck you in the face of all our kvetching about ugly, irrelevant, author photos in the NYTBR, Lee Siegel muses about prominent book-jacket photographer Marion Etlinger. This is war, people. War.

Children s Books:
As a form of protest we skipped over the Children s Book section. Kids smell bad.

Letters to the Editor:
Look! Famous people fuck things up just like us! An appropriately surnamed Bernard F. Dick notes that Woody Allen incorrectly quoted from A Streetcar Named Desire. While Allen cites Blanche DuBois as saying I think I m going to be sick, the correct lines are actually, The boy the boy died. I m afraid I m going to be sick.

Essay: And the Winner Is
By Laura Miller
Laura Miller rambles on and on about a whole lot of nothing in her essay, claiming that the short list selections for the National Book Award (Kate Walbert, Joan Silber, Christine Schutt, Lily Tuck and Sarah Shun-Lien Bynum) are all a bunch of nobodies. First off, two of these authors Kate Walbert and Lily Tuck were photographed by Marion Ettlinger. They were Ettlingered ! According to Lee Siegel, To be Ettlingered means to have imparted to you an aura of distinction and renown, regardless of whether anyone besides your mother and your cat knows who you are. In the market-place where books must be bought and sold, and profits made and authors paid, Ettlinger s camera is to a writer what Tiger Woods is to a Tag Heuer watch. We know this doesn t really prove Ms. Miller wrong, but we thought it would be neat to refer back to another essay in the NYTBR. Secondly, she lays down the nine most annoying words in the whole Review: If, like me, you actually read all five finalists She seems to be implying, rubbing it in our faces, that she read these books before they were nominated. What do you want, Laura a fucking cookie?