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We've received yet another report of intrusive preview screening anti-piracy practices, this time hitting WGA members out for a night viewing Joel Schumacher's latest exploration of his mask fetish. We creep ever closer to the day where an affirmative answer to the question "Are you on the list?" is immediately followed up with a brusque, "Grab your ankles, and please don't yelp when you feel the cold latex."

Last weekend at the Writers Guild, audience members had everything but their cavities searched prior to a showing of Phantom of the Opera. Believe me, nothing puts you in the mood for an overwrought movie musical quite like the sight of octogenarians having their walkers inspected by dark-suited Warners thugs. What was especially appalling is that the movie was shown as part of the Film Society, which writers have to pay for.

The only thing that cheered me up was thinking about how the thug standing at the front of the theater was going to have to endure all four showings. At 143 minutes per showing, that's almost ten straight hours of Andrew Lloyd Weber.