This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

—Lindsay Lohan reveals the "real" reason for her recent, five-day stay at Cedars Sinai: "exhaustion." Hollywood should really get some doctors working on a cure for that. Movies lose more money from star "exhaustion" than from all other maladies combined.
—John Stamos is using his upcoming TV show to get crazy laid. God bless his heart!
—Burglars broke into Ozzy Osbourne's English house and made off with a "large amount" of jewelry. Osbourne's reps wouldn't say whether it was Ozzy who confronted one of the thieves, but someone "mumbled incomprehensibly, shouted at a dog, and wet his pants" before the criminal escaped.
—It's official: Hollywood ignores flyover country. Somebody should immediately write an analysis of this finding that declares a "culture war" between the red and blue states.