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A reader is momentarily appalled that a drifter was about to defile one of the most holy retail destinations in Beverly Hills, then realizes that the offending vagrant was merely an actor with a hobo's fashion sense:

Driving down Rodeo Saturday afternoon, we spotted what appeared to be a homeless man outside of the Chanel store . . . a closer look revealed that it was actually Jared Leto. I was going to start mocking him if he was going to go into Chanel, but he greeted a blonde woman with a quick kiss — and then we saw it was Scarlett Johansson. The mocking ceased.

The mocking should never cease. For example, maybe Jared and Scarlett were about to choose a more flattering shade of eyeliner than the one Oliver Stone made him wear throughout Alexander, even when he was headed into battle. At least then he'd be aspiring to be a fabulous drag hobo, instead of the cliché, actor-too-busy-to-wash-and-iron-his-clothes-but-still-shopping-on-Rodeo kind.

[And while we're talking about Alexander, let us save you the cost of a movie ticket if you were anticipating the much-ballyhooed Farrell-on-Leto action. Unless your idea of "the truthful exploration of Alexander's sexuality" means the two pretty boys exchanging longing glances and endlessly gabbing about their devotion, you'd be much better off catching any double-feature at the Tomkat.]