Bad news for all those sauced kids who, in the midst of vomiting, occasionally lose their cell phones/wallets/diaphragms in the back of cabs. When you're struck with such a situation, no matter where in Manhattan, you're supposed to call the 17th precinct's lost items department (212.826.3246). Unfortunately, when you call that number—even during working hours—you receive the following recording:

"I'm sorry, but there is no room right now to record your message. Please try again later. Goodbye."

Make no mistake: New York loves you.
Lost Property [TLC]