This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

· The Fug Girls turn their fashion hate-rays on the Harry Potter kids. Isn't puberty hard enough, ladies?
· OK, hot shot, pop quiz: You're shitfaced in the VIP section of a hot NY club, and your only two choices are waking up with the stink of whiskey and cigarettes permanently soaked into your freckled skin, or escaping to drunk-dial Fez in between vomiting fits. Yeah, we'd probably take the Colin Farrell option too.
· The MPAA takes a legal poke at BitTorrent. Good luck with that, Glickman.
· Defamer Employment quickie: Minister seeking "Christian fast typist/ writing ass."
· Maria Full of Grace, a musical in brief: Maria!/I've just met a mule named Maria/And she can down a grape/My mouth was left agape/Wow-ee.