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If suing copyright-disrespecting scofflaws back into the Betamax era isn't going to solve the problem of movie piracy, the studios (no doubt operating from the MPAA's pamphlet How to Use the Major Media to Get the Public to Feel Our Pain) are going to try a different tactic: spinning tales of poetic justice.

[Sr. VP of worldwide antipiracy operations Darcy] Antonellis recalls the time a Warner Brothers sales employee went to buy some of the company's new releases on the street. "But when he got back to the office, there was nothing on the discs," she said. "He went back to the vendor and asked for a replacement. He refused and offered his money back. Eventually the vendor confessed that everything he was selling was blank."

The WB employee then continued down the street to buy a bootlegged Harry Potter disc. When he returned to the office and played the contraband movie, he was beaten and raped by a bloodthirsty gang of unscrupulous street vendors, who smugly chanted, "You get what you pay for."