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Good morning. Your regular editors, Jessica Coen and Matt Haber, are safely tucked away in a Queens Boulevard safehouse with 10 pounds of duct tape and very little else. Don't worry too much since I, Andrew Krucoff, will only be here to act as Gawker's caretaker during the media industry's annual "Sleeps Week" between Christmas and New Year's. Please stick around for the bad jokes and attempts to sneak porn onto the site. I'll try not to make a mockery of all the mockery that goes on around here.