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Did your plans fall through to spend New Year's in St. Bart's with all the other rich New York assholes? Well don't fret, just take that $50,000 you keep for "walking around" money and bid on a party at 49 Grove, "New York's Newest Most Most Exclusive Lounge." They used "most" twice so they must be serious.

Sure, it sounds like a great idea to throw a party for your other 250 friends who haven't made plans yet to help this place pull a publicity stunt because they can't possibly charge $200 per person to the public for a guaranteed awful time.

Your Own Private Club for New Year's Eve [eBay]

UPDATE: A reader writes in to give some background on 49 Grove when it was just a "little gay piano bar called The Five Oaks" in the '80s. Wet and teary nostalgia after the jump.

I used to hang at this place back when it was a seedly little gay piano bar called The Five Oaks. It was truly one of my favorite places all through the mid-to-late 80s.

Only there could you see the infamous (now, sadly, deceased) Marie Blake, the piano player/singer who looked like she had a burnt croissant on top of her head, and sang like the love child of Scatman Crothers, Nina Simone and Marianne Faithful...if they sang songs like Blondie's "Rapture" with an oom-pah beat (no, I'm not kidding).

Only there could you see Cowboy Dennis, wearing nothing but a leather vest, cowboy hat and chaps singing rendition of "Macho Man" and "YMCA" and who would inspire the crowd to use their napkins as lassos during his take on "Tie a Yellow Ribbon."

The place was a true original...$50K? MY ASS!!

Sorry - you just got me a bit nostalgiac there...despite the ridiculous price tag. People might want to know just how much jiz there was on the walls way back when...BEFORE sending in their check ;).