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A totally uneventful weekend at the box office awaits!

1. Meet the Fockers—$25 million
Go ahead and try to stop us from dwelling on the fact that the gag that's been used to sell this movie is a cat flushing a dog down a toilet. Try! We've obsessed over it so much that we're sure that it's going to be the last image we see before we die. Still, America will line up to grab their ankles and get focked. (And we liked Meet the Parents, for the record.)

2. White Noise—$11 million
The weekend's only big question is this: Did Universal's endless promotion of this movie buy their way to second place? Probably. But we've seen the commercial roughly every ten seconds for the last two weeks, and now the mere thought of Michael Keaton causes a bothersome tic in the corner of our eyes.

3. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events—$9 million
Jim Carrey should drag Paramount's shoulda-been-huge "hit" across the now nearly meaningless $100 million mark. That just about covers the budget.

4. The Aviator—$8 million
They're lying in wait for the Oscar nominations to try and "blow their shit up," as the kids say. We've always hated kids.

5. Ocean's Twelve—$6 million
Should beat that fat kid in the orange sweater. Or not.