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As the half of this Gawker team with ovaries, I m going to make a confession: I have a birthday coming up (not super soon, but soon enough). When that birthday hits me like a slap across my fresh-faced visage, I ll be one year closer to 35. And, thanks to those sensitive wankers over at the Observer, I am FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. You see, as a career-driven young woman, I m realizing that I don t have much time to climb the professional ladder, wear Armani power suits and, at the same time, meet the man of my dreams and create little babies.

Lest you think I m being sarcastic, the Observer, always on the pulse of feminine sentiment, explores the (extremely expensive) trend of single women freezing their eggs while they still have them. But I don t have the thousands of dollars to do such a thing, and I m getting nervous. So what do I do? Do I enter a loveless marriage in order to have children, just so I don't have to go through the costly process of freezing my eggs—only to end up killing the kids anyway because I m a horrible caretaker?

God, I can t handle this. I need to draw the shades and go watch Bridget Jones or Sex And The City. I m going to die old and alone. I don't even have a cat.
Freeze Those Eggs! 35 Year-Old Women Make Safe Deposits [Observer]