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Defamer, now a robust eight months old, commandeered the lounge at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills for its first party last night.

We plied an eclectic mix of bloggers, journalists, and journalists with blogs with some free booze and absolutely no food, insuring that the alcohol would achieve maximum effect. Some industry types proved their resilience by running a gauntlet of hungry Rottweillers and firehose spray (next time, we're doubling the pressure) and were allowed a cocktail, but an agent posing as a waiter to gain entry was discreetly shown the door. Reports that the conniving ten-percenter was taken to the alley and beaten within an inch of his life with an oil painting of Joey Bishop were greatly exaggerated.

[Names have been omitted or changed to protect the grievously drunk.]

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Only one of these people has a blog, but we're certain that the other two have heard of blogs.

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Gawker Media Emperor Nick Denton, doing his best to fit in with the Los Angeles social scene, demanded that he be surrounded at all times by a series of velvet ropes. Here, two lovely ladies gain access to his VIP zone.

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LA Innuendo's Richard Rushfield* thinks about the fancy Hollywood party he could've attended instead of ours, while two guests smile for the camera, manned by Kate Kaelin.

[*not his real name, we think]

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We hate to indulge in a pale imitation of the Fug Girls' brilliance, but since they showed up, we have to note that red hair's been out since Nicole Kidman had her stomach stapled.

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You may have to squint to see the picture of Larry King, but it's well worth the possible retinal damage. All guests of the Friars Club are required to stare into eyes of King's portrait for thirty seconds or until they hallucinate a vision of the Virgin Mary.