Monday Morning Box Office: DeNiro Is Lost Forever
With nothing new to see unless you get off on watching an acting legend further taint his career, it might've been time to catch those Oscar nominees you've been putting off seeing.
1. Hide and Seek—$22 million
The transformation is complete: We've officially lost Robert DeNiro forever. We held our breath when Godsend bombed, hoping to draw DeNiro back from the edge of artistic oblivion. But when his bad choices come in first at the box office, the bags of cash will prove too much to overcome. The Taxi Driver DVD is already melting in the fireplace.
Meanwhile, Dakota Fanning's parents continue to add to the tyke's "trust fund." You'll be able to hear all about it on The E! True Hollywood Story in about three years. Don't miss the part where a concerned aunt saves a destitute Fanning from the Sultan of Brunei. It's heart-wrenching.
2. Are We There Yet?—$17 million
We don't want to get too hung up on the past, but surely everyone remembers these classic Ice Cube lyrics: "Drunk as hell but no throwing up/Half way home and my pager still blowing up/Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.I got to say it was a good day." Sigh. Whither Cube? Fuck, we're even nostalgic for Anaconda at this point.
3. Million Dollar Baby—$11.8 million
MDB saw its first weekend of wide-release, and bolstered by its Oscar nominations, did well enough. In case you still don't know what the movie is about, here's our very quick synopsis: Clint Eastwood plays a grizzled boxing trainer who's so far behind on the electric bills for his gym that the power company turns off the lights everywhere he goes.
4. Coach Carter—$8 million
We were really pulling for Sideways to make the top five, but it looks like America needs Samuel L, Jackson's tough love more than it needs Thomas Hayden Church humping his way through wine country.
Here's what happened with this weekend's Very Special Movie:
14. (NA) Alone in the Dark—$2.5 million
When we didn't make it to the theater to chip in our eleven bucks, we feared Tara Reid's "I'm totally a genius! Watch me be smart!" vehicle might get shut out. How silly of us!