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When an e-mail with the subject line reading "R&B Singer Houston Gouges Eye Out After Apparent Suicide Attempt," our first thought was, "Holy shit, that Bobby Brown reality show on Bravo is going to be the greatest thing ever!" Many of you are probably way ahead of us on this one, but we followed a link to the story and were left incredibly disappointed when we discovered a completely different Houston was involved. (If you've got a high tolerance for the disgusting, there's a picture of Houston's eye injury here. You've been warned.)

Despite the fact that this unfortunate incident has nothing to do with any Whitney Houston news, we're still confident that Being Bobby Brown will feature at least one suicide-related eye gouging.