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Wherein we invite our readers to put on their pith helmets and plunge headlong into the blind item jungle presided over by the Colonel Kurtz of confusingly-phrased celebrity dirt, humpy E! gossip demigod Ted Casablanca. This week, Ted unloads twin items, tempting us with some drug abuse and a little of that casting couch action we love so dearly. Thrust yourself into One Drive-By Blind Vice Has It* *Or One Do-Me Blind Vice Has It (Take Your Best Schtup!):

Ted sez: "Okay, you want Letisha Swisha, the megarich, franchise-starring sweetie who stops by her pal's MTV office and gets high right outside said office worker's windows? Nah. Not low-down 'n' dirty enough, right? This randy requirement, therefore, takes us right on over to..." Read the item.

UPDATE: You say: Your guesses are in!.