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Friday
 · The SuicideGirls will sign copies of their 2005 illustrated calendar and book at Meltdown Comics on Sunset from 6-9 p.m. Go and get your calendars signed, but for the love of God, if you try to shake one of their hands, please don't use your "special" hand.
· Panthers play the Echo tonight...but by now, everyone's aware that Beck has dropped in on two consecutive Friday nights for "secret" shows. Draw your own conclusions.
· Bruce Wagner recruits some famous friends to read from his latest novel, The Chrysanthemum Palace at Skylight Books. Oh, you probably want us to drop those names. OK, here you go, starfuckers: Dana Delaney, Beverly D'Angelo, and James Ellroy.
Saturday
 · Because just one secret Beck show per weekend isn't enough: Check him out at Club 1650. In other concert-related news, the Elected are at the Troubadour and Lewis Black rants his way through the Wiltern.
· Daniel Knauf, creator/executive producer of HBO's Carnivale, speaks to the Alameda Writers Group about "Surviving Success, or I've Broken into Show Biz, Now What?" A drug problem and a slow descent into madness, usually.
Sunday
 · Enjoy the Super Bowl and its delightfully metallic nipple-guard-free halftime extravaganza. At least let's hope so—we don't need to see Paul McCartney showing off those withered areolas of his.
· And for those of you who want to take your Super Bowl high-fiving to the next level, Silver Lake's very own Akbar hosts "Fag Football" starting at 2:30 p.m. Insert obvious scoring joke here.