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· Now that her babies are two-and-a-half months old, it's finally safe for Julia Roberts to begin selling tiny pieces of their souls to the celebrity glosses.
· Headline of the week, by a mile: Actor Tom Sizemore Fails Drug Test with Fake Penis
· Paris Hilton "resents" that Playboy put her on their cover when she doesn't appear naked inside. Oh, the moral outrage!
· Suddenly, our lives make sense: "In a study titled "Monkeys Pay Per View," neuroscientists at Duke University discovered that rhesus monkeys will give up a portion of hard-earned perks for a peek at pictures of the dominant leaders and nubile females in their troop. But they won't pony up to look at faces of subordinate simians." [via Wonkette]