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Wherein we invite our readers to throw the tortured prose of humpy E! gossip donor Ted Casablanca into a centerfuge and spin out the identity of his weekly blind item. This week's tale of an aging actress who no longer gets free clothes doesn't offer the same "wow" factor as last week's salad-tossing extravaganza, so close your eyes and imagine that Sarah Moxie and the rude salesgirl finished their encounter by retiring to a fitting room for some blow and little making out. Throw One Alienated Blind Vice on the bed and roll around on it:

Ted sez: "Ol' Sahara still makes for a fine-lookin' gal, despite the fact that she's in that Hollywood-agent-no-no land of nearly past middle age. Crap, doesn't anybody remember that S.M. has done well at the box office and that she's not unfamiliar with being nominated for a Best Actress Oscar? Nope. Tinseltown powers that be are far busier wondering why Sahara hasn't had more work done to her puss and why the hell does she bother with all those independent films?" Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are posted.