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With Paris Hilton's phonebook cracked open and sprinkled all over the internet like blow on a compact mirror, Hollywood will be feeling the shockwaves for days. We imagine that nearly everyone in the book has already had their number changed, and some of those abandoned numbers might have already been claimed by "fans." For example, this is what you'll hear if you call the number listed for Lindsay Lohan (we're not reprinting it, so don't ask): "[burp] I'm a whore...[burp]...I'm a whooooore...[burp]...I'm a fucking whore." Subtle! The pranksters at least could've forwarded the number to the NY Underage Drinking Hotline*. Maybe next time...

[*Warning: You don't want to call that number unless you want to talk to a very annoyed state trooper.]