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In the interest of reclaiming Defamer's inbox from the unprecedented deluge of completely unimpressed, nearly-unanimous responses, it's time to get to your blind item guesses. Hook up again with One Tanked Titty Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Jeez, who isn't a lesbian these days. Pretend, fake, real, for press-attention only, what-ev already! Marcia Cross says she isn't. Portia insists she doesn't discuss. Paris proclaims she's "just dating," but Cell-gate sure makes it clear how benevolent she's become in that department, huh? And then there's Bertha Bad-Breath, who, in addition to the bottle, has been sucking on every part of the female anatomy offered her. Wherever. Whenever." Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are after the jump.

You say: By about a margin of 100-to-1, Tara Reid. If the windows of America's office buildings weren't welded shut to minimize employee suicide, you could throw them open and hear the yawns inspired by the perceived lack of difficulty of this week's item. A sampling of your responses:

—"That "birthing new body parts," part, when loosely translated from Ted-speak has to mean 'Spent a lot of dough for some really bad knockers.'

—"If he just came out and said 'Tara Reid gets drunk and hooks up with girls,' people would just shrug and continue with their day. But no, so much subterfuge, so much mystery, and for what?"

For what, indeed? Clearly Mr. Casablanca has obscured his most mind-bendingly challenging item to date in a cloak of surface obviousness. You fall for the Master's tricks over and over again, grasshoppers.

You also say: The only other actress receiving multiple guesses was Drew Barrymore. Look upon the patented Ted Casablanca Seed of Doubt™ and despair.

You say: A bunch of actresses, without even the flimsiest of reasons. We'll withhold the names, but note that just because a certain acting-impaired individual gets drunk frequently drunk and makes out with chicks on television doesn't make her Ted's weekly goat.

And The Andy Dick Memorial “You Also Say” Item Goes To: While Andy Dick received healthy support from fans, we're going to have to hand this one over to a now-repeat winner: "'Bertha Bad-Breath' is an obvious alliterative nod to 'Brett's Ball-Bag.' Going to have to go with Ratner's Scrotum again this week."

Thanks for playing, and we now return to extra-Casablanca blogging activities.