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Star far from the multiplex, as studios toss their unwanted cinematic kittens in a burlap sack and quietly drown them in the Olympic-sized pool of Oscar weekend obscurity.

1. Hitch—$20 million
Bold 2006 Oscar prediction: Will Smith wins an honorary award for "Special Achievement in the Being Too Fucking Adorable for Words Arts." He will have stiff competition from Dakota Fanning, at least until she finally takes a vacation for "exhaustion" in late January.

2. Constantine—$16 million
Keanu Reeves will taste a spoonful of box office ipicac, resulting in yet another case of the heaves.

3. Cursed—$13 million
We hear that this movie was reshot so many times over such an extended interval of time that Christina Ricci often recites dialogue from Monster—and it doesn't compromise the movie one bit.

4. Man of the House—$9 million
Tommy Lee Jones + Cedric the Entertainer + cheerleader movie = please euthanize us immediately.

5. Diary of a Mad Black Woman—$8 million
Or the smiling dog that saves the universe, your pick.