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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let the world know that Natalie Portman has no fear of seasonal precipitation.

In this episode: Jake Gyllenhaal flees a mob hungry to gaze into his dreamy eyes at Applebee's; Cate Blanchett and Phillip Seymour Hoffman hit Orso; Harvey Weinstein and Matt Damon hang around in hotel lobbies; Kirsten Dunst at Urrth; Luke Wilson gets treated to lunch at Fred Segal; Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, and Kate Hudson; Jennifers Grey and Coolidge, and Ted Danson; Topher Grace (x2), in the vicinity of Trishelle Real World; Hilary Duff and Joy Bryant; Will Forte; Robert Forster; Sonya Walger; Mark Feuerstein, Monty Hall, Doug Savant, and Laura Leighton; Leslie Hope; Dolph Lundren; Travis Barker; Edie McClurg; Bill Nye; Lou Ferrigno; Ian Ziering.

· We were working in El Centro and the only way we could bear to face it was to constantly remind ourselves
that Jake Gyllenhaal was shooting a movie there too. I was informed – on the dl- that Applebee’s was the hot spot for a sit-down dinner. So we hit it.

As we managed through the swarm of teenage girls, I made my way to the Applebee’s entrance only to find myself eye to eye with Jake Gyllenhaal’s quick exit. He is fucking hot. As I kept my cool while my friend lost his, I walked up to the hostess only to be told that we had a 35 minute wait. Hmm…I just saw Jake leave in a hurry which could only mean one thing: he got denied at Applebee’s.

I walked up to the hostess: “Did Jake eat here or did he not make the top of the waiting list?” “No,” she said, “ He was sorta eating but then he got surrounded by people." Poor Jake couldn’t enjoy Applebee’s cuz he got recognized. He could have continued to enjoy Applebee’s fine dining had he known about their “Carside To Go” feature which would have allowed him to
continue his dinner in the privacy of his own trailer. But as the crowd dispersed and the excitement drained, we snapped back to reality and returned to our mediocre food. Uber random.

· I was at Orso Saturday night before the Oscars and saw a stunningly beautiful Cate Blanchett with (I guess) her husband and Philip Seymour Hoffman! Unusual pairing indeed! Way to go, Cate!

· Perhaps not surprising since it was during the pre-Oscar party at the Beverly Hills Hotel: Me and my girlfriend were in the lobby of the BHH Saturday evening and saw Harvey Weinstein and Matt Damon (who was checking my GF out as we walked past). Couple minutes later we saw Peter Bart.

· Saw Kirsten Dunst today (3/1) at Urth Caffe wearing a red wollen thing and cap in 70 degrees and sun. She sat in a corner on the patio with a lanky brunette and zipped out of there awfully fast. She has exceptionally beautiful skin.

· Eating lunch at Fred Segal SM Saturday when my visiting-from-out-of-town friend almost lost all motor function. Seeing what was causing the madness, I turn to see Luke Wilson in line behind us. Luke is sporting a mustache and extra clammy skin (needs a shower, but still sexy). He was, of course, with a gorgeous brown haired girl who was loving all the neck craning, but who PAID for lunch. WHA? Who knew Mitchapalooza was such a cheapie!

· non oscar worthy privacy watch: goldie hawn, kurt russell, kate hudson & son, + 2 elderly folks I am assuming are either goldie's or kurt's parents lunching at Ivy on the Shore last week.

· Celebrities were out in droves on Saturday (2/26). Among the ones worth mentioning, which, really, isn’t worth a lot: Jennifer Grey in front of Peet’s Coffee on Montana with a bare-chested, pink-tutu-ed tot (I wanted to pull Jennifer aside and tell her how “Dirty Dancing” was basically soft-core porn for my eight-year-old self & really did a lot to fuel my
childhood sexual fantasy life, but I thought better of it); moments later, window-shopping on Montana was Jennifer Coolidge, whose turquoise-spandex-swathed breasts were mesmerizing; and, my personal favorite of the day: Ted Danson, who graciously held the door for me at my hair stylist on 26th. Later though, Mr. Danson was quite rigid and unresponsive to my overt (and quite excited) attempts at small talk. Oh well.

· Saw Topher "I'm friends with Ashton, Really" Grace in the Miracle Mile Ralph's on Wilshire at 5:30pm on Oscar Night. The snubbing didn't seem to be on his mind, as he was joking around with a fat asian dude and an unshaven hipster one line over while checking out. He seemed to be "In Good Company"? Yeah, I'll stick to my day job.

· I was at Corona's Cantina on Sunset (across from the Chateau Marmont) on Saturday night the 26th and saw Trashy Trishelle from the Real World with some other RW'ers that I didn't really pay close enough attention to to recognize. They were at the bar harmlessly having a good time. A few feet away was Topher Grace with a group of people. No one paid too much attention to any of them. Why oh why can't I ever have an A-List sighting?

· at pace in laurel canyon last night (2/26), and saw hilary duff with the loser from good charlotte (not the one with the shitty teardrop tattoos all over his face, the other asshole). she looked really hot and not at all like a teenager. kept peeking over to see if she was drinking wine, but it looked like she was sticking to the iced tea.

but the real weirdness was at the next table over where joy bryant (who was in "honey" with jessica alba) was getting her face done by a professional make up artist... realize that this is a mellow candle-lit place at 9:00 on a Saturday night. if the full-on face painting wasn't enough to get her noticed, she definitely had the whole restaurant looking when the makeup artist started taking FUCKING POLAROIDS of her. the whole thing was ridiculous. in fairness to her, she did look pretty hot.

· Will Forte of SNL was hanging out in Hollywood at the Hotel Cafe on Feb 26th. It freaked me out a bit since it was a Saturday, but then I realized, oh it must be a repeat tonight.....He is short..weird.

· Late afternoon on Oscar Sunday, I saw Robert Forster on one of the streets leading up to Runyon Canyon. Despite showing blatant disregard for the approaching Oscars, Robert was eagerly describing his next project where he plays a wizard to two guys. Rising to the occasion, he began waving his imaginary staff around (unclear if any actual spells were cast). The two guys looked on nonplussed.

Saturday afternoon I saw Sonya Walger, late of HBO's Mind of Married Man and NBC's sure-fire hit and Friend's replacement, Coupling, which was promptly canceled after a few episodes. She was walking down Melrose across from Urth Caffe with a fried. Sonya looked very cute in sweats and a tank top and with her British accent — my heart was a flutter.

· Went to see "Fame" at the Freud Playhouse on the UCLA campus last night (2/23). It was a benefit production put on by the LA County High School for the Performing Arts. The first celeb I spotted was Mark Feuerstein in the lobby looking totally lickable as always. This man should be forced to walk around naked. Then I noticed Monty Hall sitting in my row. I thought he was dead, but apparently he's alive and kicking with a nice head of white hair. During the reception that was held during intermission I noticed Doug Savant and Laura Leighton. I had absolutely no idea that these two were married until a friend informed me. I was never a big "Melrose Place" fan. Laura is quite beautiful in person and Doug is completely yummy. My friend stood behind him in the buffet line and said that he smelled fabulous, too. Supposedly Doug had a niece in the production and if it's the girl I think it was, she's very talented.

· Was leaving Melanee Thai on Pico in BH, when my spidey-sense started tingling. I turn around to glimpse Leslie Hope, who played Kiefer's multiple-kidnapped and murdered wife in the first season of 24, back in those halcyon days before all their plots started revolving around Islamic fundamentalists trying to nuke the sun.

· Rollin down the sidewalk on Wilshire today (2/24) enjoying the sunshine and who was kickin' it Miracle Mile-styles at an outside table of a local office-drone-friendly lunch spot???? None other than Ivan Drago a.k.a. Dolph Lundgren. The patio lunch was adjacent to the squat, mirrored Nu Image and Millennium Films office building. The Dolph was looking ripped in his pale blue Izod golf shirt, jeans, celeb-special brown sunglasses with the light, faded tint. He had a black cast on his right foot and crutches on the ground behind him. Meeting with scruffy slouchy guy. No Brigette Nielsen in sight.

Apparently Travis from Blink 182 was making the rounds ), because I saw him this past Tuesday (the 25th) at the Cadillac dealership right off of Beverly Glen on Ventura. I was across the street at the Fatburger, and all of a sudden I saw this heavily tattooed guy with no shirt on and a mohawk. I mentioned to the guy I was with that it looked like Travis, and then he turned around and it was! He was with some blond, spikey haired friend/assistant/entourage type guy and were there for at least 30 minutes because that's how long I was eating for. He looked really skinny and seemed to have no problem to be at a Caddy dealership in track pants, flip flops and no shirt despite the cool weather.

· Friday Night, The Money Tree in Toluca Lake: Among the dating retirees marinating to live jazz, I spotted Small Wonder and Ferris Bueller's Edie McClurg (yes, THE Edie McClurg). She seemed to be a regular there and got along well with the sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, and dickheads.

· wednesday- saw bill nye the science guy at amoeba records. he was walking briskly with a messenger bag full of paperplates and a bottle of ketchup. wanted to ask if they were for a science experiment or a cookout, but was intercepted by employee with armload of fischerspooner vinyl. i'm serious.

· As you know FAA regulations require at least one celebrity be on every flight but flying back from Orlando on Oscar night I figured my flight would be celeb-free. Well, almost. Seated on my flight was none other than the Incredible Hulk himself, Lou Ferrigno. Looking good and far less bodybuilder-gone-to-seed than our Governator. I wasn't close enough to see what he ordered off the Song menu-o-crap but still, pretty fly for a deaf guy. Not my best sighting but one of my favorites.

· Saw Steve Sanders (I mean Ian Ziering) looking bright eyed at the Griddle early Sunday morning. We had just arrived and he was sitting with the bill on his table. So we thought he'd leave us his booth, but no. He licked at his girlfriend's neck, shook hands with a woman and her baby, and just generally enjoyed his C-level fame for over an hour, forcing Oscar-day booth-waiters to wonder aloud which car in the lots was his, so someone could slash his tires.