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It's a big weekend for people with children, or for fans of older actors who allegedly like to grope the barely legal. These groups probably have quite a bit of overlap.

1. Robots—$49 million
It's pretty easy to predict a huge opening for well-produced kiddie fare; one thing you can always rely on is a parent's preference for taking a child out for a movie and themed Happy Meal over staying at home and actually having to interact with their rugrats in a meaningful fashion. And even though some of the robots may seem scary, they're completely kid safe. As actor Stanley Tucci so ably demonstrated recently, they're completely free of the kind of genitalia that might result in a lengthy court case and attendant media circus.

2. The Pacifier—$17 million
Rumors of on-set jealousy between newly-minted family-friendly star Vin Diesel and ascendant animal superstar Gary the Duck are unfounded, although things could still get tense as a rivalry emerges: Diesel will soon return to lousy action movies, but Gary the Duck is slated to tweak his co-star by doing a shot-by-shot remake of A Man Apart.

3. Hostage—$12 million
There was a time when the prospect of Bruce Willis blowing shit up for two hours would bring enormous crowds to the theater. But after the way things have been going, he's going to have to settle for $12 million or so and more tabloid speculation that he's zapping an actress young enough to be his daughter. Not an entirely horrible tradeoff, in our opinion.

4. Be Cool—$11 million
Instead of a joke, how about a tip? Do not see Be Cool, so that the money we spent on it last weekend will not have been completely wasted.

5. Hitch—$9 million
Let's just sign up Will Smith and Gary the Duck for a buddy movie and get it out of the way, OK? Brett Ratner to direct.