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Thanks to everyone who played the guessing game. Only three of you failed to follow the new directions. You know who you are. And if you don't, when Andy Dick shows up on your doorstep wearing nothing but Redi-Whip pasties, then you'll get the idea. Double check that you filled in all of the bubbles for One Secret Suck-Face Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "I love the chicks who write to me and complain that Hollywood, according to this column, is full of nothing but gay people, drug fiends and plastic-surgery-addicted divas (both male and female). To those malcontents, I say: Skip this week's naughty installment." Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are after the jump!

You say: Once again, the vast majority of you were in agreement as to 1) the identity of the blind item and 2) the opinion that Ted is either guilty of lax effort in obscuring these items ("I will sell my 11yr old into the Thai sex trade if it isn't Martha Stewart") or suffering from an erosion of gossip-encoding skills ("Jesus, what happened to the days when I couldn’t understand what the fuck Ted was talking about?"). Let us address the second point: We saw Ted wearing a tiara on E! the other day. This man is clearly at the top of his game. As to the first point, well, it's awfully small-minded of you to assume that everyone who spends a little time in lock-up is, or becomes, a homosexual. For shame. Some readers were a little more understanding:

"Who isn't a lesbian while in prison?" (Hey, it sounds a lot like going to an all-women's college, doesn't it?)

"I love her! I don't care whom she's licking homemade goose pate off of while wearing her home arrest bracelet."

In any case, your near-unanimity convinces us that Mr. Casablanca has once again outwitted you.

You also say: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Remember what we said about prison stays earlier? The same things apply to bodybuilding and being an action star. For shame.

You also say: Michael Eisner and Michael Ovitz, with a handful of mentions each. We may joke when during testimony Ovitz referred to the Mikes as "life partners," but those dudes are straight. Think about it: If you were a gay, would you fuck them? We hate to answer a rhetorical question, but: Of course not.

And The Andy Dick Memorial “You Also Say” Item Goes To: In a very tight, ahem, race, the winner is:

Gary the Duck. Who's the duck? Gary's da duck!

Runner-up: Andy Dick. Within a week, he'll be losing roles to the the duck as well.

Thanks for playing!