Friday:
 · Still weeping like a camel cause you couldn t make it down to SXSW? Take solace in Xiu Xiu s gig at the Knitting Factory tonight. Their sound is both violent and sexual, we hear, so you'll probably enjoy it. [flavorpill]
· Speaking of sex and violence, the Deitch Projects houses overexposed photog Dave LaChapelle s latest retrospective, Artists and Prostitutes — subject matter that we actually give a hoot about, minus the whole artists thing. [Deitch]
· An obviously hungover Van Morrison stumbles into the Apollo tonight. Let s just pray the Sandman steers clear. [Apollo]
Saturday:
 · The year was 1991: Bush was president, Kirstie Alley was huge, and a horde of tweaked out clubs kids were getting jiggy wit it over at Shelter. My, how things haven t changed. Celebrate Shelter s 14th anniversary tonight with a stellar roster of DJs we ve never heard of. [Shelter]
· The Allman Brothers Band, or what s left of them, nearly brings to an end the never-ending annual Beacon run tonight. Who knows, you just might catch the 34,872 performance of Whipping Post. [ABB]
Sunday:
 · Wanna make a quick buck? Head on down to Coney Island for the season opening of Astroland, ride the Cyclone three or four times, and then sue for whiplash. You ll be flaunting ice from Jacob & Co. in no time. [Astroland]