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Enjoy our gleefully inaccurate box office swami routine.

1. The Ring Two—$41 million
Hey, more dirty, dead chicks crawling out of wells! Yawn. You know who should really fire her agent? Naomi Watts, because she's a serious actress now, and we just can't have her doing horror movie sequels. Even if the original was a huge hit.

2. Robots—$22 million
Seems like no one's too excited about taking their kids to see genitalia-free automatons. We blame Michael Jackson.

3. Ice Princess—$15 million
Behind the beaded curtain at your local video store tomorrow: Ass Princess.

4. The Pacifier—$12 million
Listen, we can try and make up something clever here, or we can link to a picture of Vin Diesel pointing at a duck. Guess which option wins on St. Hangover's Day?

5. Hostage—$7 million
We're putting The Whole Ten Yards in our Netflix queue right now, just because we need to hurt ourselves to feel anything.