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Join us as we rub the sleep from our eyes, spread some garlic-herb cream cheese on a bagel, and spend our breakfast with updates about rehabbing Insider host/world champion sexy-talker Pat O'Brien. Here, O'Brien uses his silver tongue to charm a colleague:

A source tells us he used to refer to a gay African-American senior producer at "Access Hollywood" as "the Fruit Monkey." To his face.

If O'Brien's is indeed hiding out in rehab until all of this blows over, we might not see him for a while. We'd suggest that he escape to somewhere a little less media-saturated, like the jungles of Africa, but we suspect that he'd probably just find himself taunted by tribesman who gather outside his hut and giggle, "You are soooo fucking hot!" all night, then try to bum some blow.

Related: As we'd hoped, Relapsin' Whitney Houston has landed in imaginary rehab with O'Brien. Wackiness ensues.