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Christians: You only really need to be in Church on Sunday, leaving you so much time to fill the coffers of your local movie exhibitor.

1. Guess Who—$21 million
We can't think of a better way to celebrate Jesus Christ's death and resurrection than with two hours at the mutliplex, watching the guy from Mr. 3000 and the guy who's fucking the mother of Bruce Willis' kids star in a slapstick remake of a revered social-message film. Oh, wait—yes we can! We're going to eat 500 marshmallow Peeps (the bunny-shaped kind), and numbed by the ensuing sugar coma, nail our hands and feet to the floor to check our impulse to go out and watch Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher spar on the big screen.

2. Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous—$19 million
While we admire the cynical attempt by the "fabulous" in the movie's title to attract the camp-seeking box office dollar, we're willing to up the Peeps dosage by 50 percent and get some bigger nails to prevent our sugar-addled attendance of a Sandy Bullock sequel.

3. The Ring 2—$14 million
If you absolutely must see a sequel this weekend...just stay in and flip through whatever HBO has on.

4. Robots—$12 million
Easter weekend homework for parents stuck taking the kids to this movie: Try and figure out which robot is the thinly-veiled Christ figure!

5. The Pacifier—$8 million
If Vin Diesel is Jesus, then Gary the Duck is whatever is ten times more awesome than Jesus.