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Witness the Easter miracle that was the inspired accuracy of our box office predictions for the holiday weekend:

1. Guess Who—$21 million
We are delighted to report that our Guess Who avoidance plan, which involved the ingestion of health-endangering levels of marshmallow Peeps and some rusty nails, was an unqualified success. We never came with 500 yards of a theater exhibiting the movie. Also, we projected that it would earn a filthy $21 million, and we're sad to report we were accidentally accurate. The visions from the Peeps sugar high are a double-edged sword.

2. Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous—$14.5 million
We're as surprised as anyone that Sandra Bullock can still survive on the fame reserves of Speed and While You Were Sleeping a decade later. You'd think she'd be running on vapors after Practical Magic, but here she is, cranking out sequels.

3. The Ring 2—$13.8 million
Sometimes when we're feeling a little darker than usual, we like to imagine creepy Ring moppet David Dorfman playing a winner-take-all hand of Texas Hold 'Em with Haley Joel Osment, the former child-actor hotshot now mired in the obsolescence of puberty. The pot? Their very souls. Osment wins, of course, bluffing all the way through a 2-7 hand with those dead, robot-boy eyes.

4. Robots—$13 million
Oh, and after Osment wins? He slaps Dorfman for crying, then tells him to stop being such a little baby.

5. The Pacifier—$8.5 million
Vin Diesel was on Letterman the other night, but looked distracted while answering some simple questions about his movie, almost as if one of his handlers was running back and forth behind the cameras with a raw steak. Also: Gary the Duck, still bigger than Jesus.