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It was only yesterday that we sat down to a hearty brunch at our favorite eatery when our mind wandered, and we found ourselves silently asking, "I wonder if the one of the Olsen twins is dining somewhere else in the greater Los Angeles area, and if they are, what could they possibly be eating?" Lo and behold, our unspoken wish for an update on an Olsen's food intake was granted by a reader:

Sunday, April 3 - Swingers on Beverly - around 12-12:30pm - who plops down in the booth across from ours? Mary-Kate Olsen and an unfamiliar young guy (young like teenager young), who were all kinds of lovey-dovey. MK looked as mussed and messy as she always does in the gossip rags - itty bitty little thing - less anorexic, and more prepubescent underdeveloped, and the unnamed boy looked like he was either going for dreadlocks or just hadn't seen a hairbrush in several months. I did witness lil ole MK eat half a muffin and as I was leaving, her omelette and toast had just arrived, and she was buttering the toast. Yay nourishment!

A muffin? And toast? This ostentatious display of carb-loaded brunching was clearly nothing more than a public attempt at image repair in the wake of the Schiavo fiasco. Why not have a team of overweight nurses insert a feeding tube attached to an IV drip with "Twinkie extract" prominently emblazoned on the bag? Better luck with your subterfuge next time, twin.