The First Rule of 'New Yorker' Staff is "There Is No 'New Yorker' Staff"
Don't be surprised if The New York Observer's Tom Scocca is found outlined in chalk with the bloody shards of a monocle next to his body. Tom went and made one of the biggest mistakes a journalist can make: he broke The New Yorker's code of omerta and dared to print a speculative—though probably quite accurate—masthead for the magazine in this week's Observer.
This is almost as dangerous as revealing the secrets of Skull & Bones or Scientology. And it can be twice as deadly.
In 1965, a young Tom Wolfe (he only used 5 exclamation points per sentence, not ten like he does now) revealed that the magazine was staffed by 'TINY MUMMIES!' and he was never heard from again. (That apparition in white is actually Wolfe's ghooooooooost!)
So, click the link if you dare. But if you're cornered by a dandy who threatens to "box your ears," don't let out a shout or a murmur: run!
