This image was lost some time after publication.

Rosie O'Donnell has really embraced the blog medium. In fact, she's so comfortable with it that it seems she's just announced chatting about her partner's 2002 pregnancy* in her inimitable, stream-of-consciousness/haiku-hybrid writing style. Behold:

i buy fourteen pregnancy tests
the names amuse me
first alert - early response
something serious is happening [...]

five days since insemination
yesterday I turned forty
today - a bold red plus
nothing tentative
an addition - absolutely [...]

First of all, fourteen pregnancy test? While this kind of redundancy seems like overkill, we understand the impulse to be completely sure about something as life-altering as...oh...no no no.... We just thought about how many times she had to pee on a plastic stick, then found our heads flooded with images of Rosie doing exactly that. The world is just not ready for the kinds of issues raised by unfettered access to the celebrity mind. Close up the blogs! All of them! At least until we figure out a way to regulate who gets one.

*Correction: We take back what we said about Rosie getting comfy with the blog medium...she's talking about the baby she and partner Kelli Carpenter had in 2002. (Silly us!) Nobody blogs about stuff that happened two years ago. What a newbie! We stand by the peeing on a stick stuff, though, despite our shoddy fact-checking on the baby and whatnot.