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Hey, have you heard that there's a gang of obsessed Star Wars nerds camping out in front of the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd, even though there's a chance that the movie won't be premiering there? So has the LAT...four days after the story unfolding right under their nose first broke. But what the Times lacks in timeliness they attempt to make up in definitiveness, deftly leading their story with a serviceable FAQ of The Line:

It was Gianennio Salucci's turn to answer the calls from reporters on two pay phones at "Star Wars" fans' campsite outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood.

"Yes, we know the movie isn't coming out for six more weeks," he told another radio reporter. "Yes, I know it's not playing at this theater."

"Yes, I have a job."

There you have it, in bite-sized form: The nerds are answering the pay phones, the movie doesn't come out until mid-May (and when it does, maybe it won't be playing at the Chinese), and gawkers are unimaginatively abusing the huddled Jedi fetishists. Oh, you knew that already because you have an internet connection? Our bad. Tomorrow: The LAT atones by outfitting a reporter with a Jango Fett helmet and sending him to covertly infiltrate The Line.