The Projectionist: Bang The Bongo Slowly
We've done pretty well with our predictions the last couple of weekends, so we're feeling a little bold. If this batch isn't accurate, God will take another Pulitzer Prize winner on Monday. Adjust your dead pools accordingly.
1. Sahara—$18 million
Matthew McConaughey as an action star? Yeah, we're not buying it either, especially after watching him frolic with dragons in Reign of Fire. However, the shoddy-looking-Indiana-Jones-ripoff thing worked wonders for National Treasure, so MM might be slapping the bongos with joy come Monday morning, his naughty parts flapping in the breeze, as is his custom.
2. Fever Pitch—$16 million
Spoiler alert: At the end of the movie, the Red Sox win the Series, and Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore slip onto the field to engage in a chilling three-way with centerfield caveman Johnny Damon. Not for the faint of heart.
3. Sin City—$13 million
The two new options this weekend aren't really doing it for us, so we just might make a return trip to stare at Jessica Alba's gyrating abs, and again recoil in horror as Bruce Willis gets to indulge in the kind of junk-ripping catharsis that you know he's been secretly wishing to reenact with Ashton Kutcher.
4. Guess Who—$7 million
This is the part where we attempt a lame joke based on the facile parody of a film's unfortunate title. Guess Who's Not Getting To Ten Million Dollars?
5. Beauty Shop—$6 million
Oh, Latifah—may we call you that and drop the regal formality?—one day you'll be ours. Oh yes. You can put that in curlers and take it to the bank, whatever that means. Does passion make sense? No, it often does not.