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Nicole Kidman is proving herself to be quite the spiritual wanderer. Raised Catholic (why has there been no official statement about the new Pope?) and nominally a Scientologist during her marriage to Tom Cruise (it seemed like a better idea at the time than being locked in a trunk and drowned at the Celebrity Centre's pool—she wouldn't make that same mistake again), Kidman has apparently exhausted all other theological options and gone back to the Old Book:

Very quietly, when she isn't shooting movies and raising her two children and stepping out with mogul Steve Bing, the Oscar-winning screen goddess has been steeping herself in the Old Testament. The face of Chanel has been studying with Dr. Robert Cargill, an adjunct professor of religion at Pepperdine University who has supervised archeological digs in Israel.

These actresses, always so fickle! It's admirable that Kidman's displaying such spiritual precocity, but we think she'll probably crap out somewhere in Deuteronomy, and she'll never get past, like, page five of the Upanishads. By then, the Scientologists will figure out what she's up to and detonate the tiny explosive in her brain that will erase all religious curiosity. You laugh now, but that's exactly what they did to Jenna Elfman when she remarked at a cocktail party about how much she admired the "Footprints in the Sand" poem she once read in Mel Gibson's guest bathroom.