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Wherein we invite our readers to solve for n (where n=the identity of a naughty celebrity) the weekly blind item calculus equation scrawled on the dirty office window of gossip-mathematician Ted Casablanca. In this week's tale of tacky Hollywood penny-pinching, sex is the appetizer, not the main course. Bury your face in the hot blueberry pie of One Cheap-Ass Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Regardless, gotta take a breather here on the heavy-breathing Vices—this one's all about the green. Nina, whose friends are far more rich than she is (actually, that's one of the bigger scams going round town right now), is developing quite the rep for her miserly clubgoing ways." Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to defamer[AT]gmail.com, and put "blind" in the subject line. We'll post your possibly litigable solutions later today.