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Normally, we'd refrain from challenging you both mentally and spiritually so early on a Monday morning, but we pause from somewhat newsier content to deliver an existential donkey-punch to our readers' collective pineal gland. To that end, we present this sampling of tidbits from the Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator:

· There are sockets in Vin Diesel's arms and feet for the heads of four smaller Vin Diesels to connect into. Together they merge and become Vin-Diesel-Cator. To date, this has only happened once.
· Vin Diesel records critically acclaimed Black Metal albums under the pseudonym "Vintersorg" which roughly translates into English as "Winter Sorrow." He also sings for the Norwegian all star metal band Borknagar under this name.
· Vin Diesel once dug a hole to China, where he ate Chairman Mao.
· Despite being hairless, biologists believe Vin Diesel to be a mammal.

We're not at all ashamed to admit that we lost hours this weekend to the discovery of fresh facts about America's leading action-star-turned-duck-worshipping-supernanny. We can't wait until Ron Howard and Brian Grazer get around to immortalizing Diesel with a critically-acclaimed, yet intellectually barren, biopic. The Oscar-winning money shot: In the throes of inspiration, an entranced Diesel scrawls his grocery list on a window.