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Rush & Molloy report that the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes Unconvincing Handsy Lovers Tour of 2005 made a stop in Vegas, the Mecca of all sham relationships, where they did what every set of crazy-in-love partners with big summer movies rolling out in a few weeks do to legitimize their union—make out furiously and publicly at a show. Luckily, that's as far as it went, as Cruise wasn't able to follow through on his original Vegas plan: taking Holmes' maidenhead at the top of the Luxor, high above an assembled throng of publicist-approved wire service photographers.

Point-Crazy Counterpoint: Yesterday, Ebert and Roeper's Richard Roeper, ever with his finger on the pulse of the nation, is solidly in Tom and Katie's corner: "I believe that Cruise has hooked up with Ms. Holmes just to remind the world that he can order off the menu anytime he wants."