What's Eating Russell Crowe?
The last time we discussed Russell Crowe, the actor had revealed that he was part of a kidnapping plot to "culturally destabilize" America. Not content to tussle with Al Qaeda, the actor is now ready to destabilize the jawbones of some a local playwright, whose Crowe-baiting work has the actor's 30 Odd Foot of Panties in a Bunch:
The "Gladiator" star is vexed by a new play, "Killing Russell Crowe," in which a fictional bartender gripes that he'd like to murder the Oscar winner because he never pays for his drinks and leaves only an unsigned headshot as a tip. The drama, which just opened in Burbank, Calif., has provoked Crowe to call playwright Jeremy Kehoe a "desperate [expletive]."
"It is with generosity I offer the author this tip," Crowe told the Sydney Sunday Telegraph. "Take yourself outside and give yourself two uppercuts."
The writer should feel lucky that he's getting off with just a pair of self-administered uppercuts. If he were a close mate of Crowe's, he might have been asked to chew off his own nipples.
