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Kingdom of Heaven's stumble out of its opening-weekend gate didn't do anything to help shake the box office out of its slump. Why did it fail? Maybe it wasn't the right kind of Jesus-y:

In the case of "Kingdom of Heaven," Fox labored to make a film about religious war that would offend neither Christians nor Muslims and trimmed some of Mr. Scott's more violent scenes, said a person who worked on the film and spoke on condition of anonymity to protect relations at the studio. But because the subject matter was religious war and not, as with "The Passion," resurrection, the studio could not count on a big Christian turnout, the person said.

For those studio execs looking to draw conclusions that they can easily wrap their minds around:

· A religious war flick that endeavors not to offend various segments of the God-fearing population, [SPOILER ALERT] skinny hero surrenders: Bomb.
·Two controversial hours graphically depicting the Messiah having his ass kicked, skinny hero triumphs: $370 million domestic run.

At the very least, you have to believe KOH would've done more than $20 million if audiences got to see thugs brutally beating Orlando Bloom with a variety of spike-studded implements.