Monday Morning Box Office: Insert Scatological 'Sith' Pun Here
The Monday morning numbers, with a dash of further wattle-baiting:
1. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith —$158.5 million (four-day); $124.7 millions (three day); $108.5 million (Friday-Sunday)
You wanted records? You got records—one-day, three-day, four-day, what have you. To get a sense of perspective about how much money was generated from the unprecedented spree of ticket sales, picture this: If George Lucas was given one banana for every Sith box office dollar, he would have over 158,500,000 bananas. Still having trouble grasping the scope? That many bananas would eat up nearly half the space in the fruit-storage section of Lucas's prodigious neck-wattle.
2. Monster-In-Law—$14.4 million
You may be shocked to discover that the nation's movie theaters exhibited movies other than ROTS. Unfortunately, some of these offerings included Jennifer Lopez's further misadventures in the acting profession.
3. Kicking & Screaming—$10.5 million
Taking your children to K&S while ROTS is playing two screens away may constitute child abuse. We hope that all the horrible parents who didn't succumb to the Sith marketing blitz made it up to George Lucas by purchasing some official Star Wars merchandise.
4. Crash—$5.5 million
Before we plunked down our $4.50 (thank God for matinees!), we thought racism was totally cool. But after two hours of being bludgeoned by Paul Haggis' movie, we realized that racism is totally wack! Racism: Don't do it!
5. Unleashed—$3.8 million
ROTS probably made this much money just on this week's sale of Darth Taters.