This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Slate's highly informative "Hollywood Economist" column looks at how the insurance industry secretly runs Hollywood (we wonder how the Gay Mafia and the Jews are going to take the news), explaining how Nicole Kidman's balky knees have wreaked havoc with insurers, and how Angelina Jolie was all but encased in a titanium cocoon to protect her during Tomb Raider:

Consider, for example, the video game-inspired movie, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider—The Cradle of Life, starring Angelina Jolie outfitted in skin-tight action-toy garb. The hype of this sequel was that Jolie did "most of her own stunts" out of her own "edgy quest for danger." [...] Her "edgy quest for danger" notwithstanding, no fewer than three stunt doubles substituted for Jolie, bringing the stunt-person budget to a near-record $1,894,662. [...] Almost all the stunts were done by a second unit, which shot for 60 days while Jolie and the other actors in the principal unit were elsewhere. If a scene could injure Jolie, the loss-control representative watched to see that she was trussed up in a double-wired safety rig or hand-held by safety men in green spandex suits. The scenes were then scanned into a computer and the harnesses, wires, and safety men were digitally removed.

Given insurance companies' influence on the entertainment industry, we're forced to conclude that Jolie was never in danger during her loud, scary Afriacan sex romp with Brad Pitt; their love bungalow was almost certainly full of loss-prevention specialists and adjusters dispatched to protect their investment in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, who called in a team of trussed-up stuntmen to substitute for the couple during any particularly risky behavior. (And yes, that includes anal.)